Friday, February 1, 2013

older stuff 5

Older Stuff from the Barn; 1998-2000 (part 5)

there were some pretty unusual people who wanted to be a part of our group.  we had to tell them to go away. to go, in essence, away. sorry, folks, you're just gonna have to find a way of your own. there were some pretty unusual people who wanted to be a part of our movement.  we didn’t like them, and we had to tell them that their presence was in no way desired.  sometimes we had a hard time making this clear to certain persons, and it was not always possible for us to enact or enforce our particular wishes.  there were some pretty unusual people, let me tell ya!  pretty ineffective when it came to traditional communication techniques.  people not very skilled.  have I already mentioned that?  people not very successful.  it makes sense to me when I hear that a few them were left behind or lost in the shuffle.  that doesn’t surprise me at all!  there was probably no way of helping them.  we discussed some of the possibilities, but in the end, there was probably no way of helping them.  I’ve already alluded to some of the more unusual people around here.  I’ve demonstrated how and why we were reluctant to let them be a part of our focus group.  we were headed for destruction, most likely self-induced or self-consummated.  you start to get the idea, I suppose, when I talk about the science fair not being very fun or successful.  heading out to the ball field, heading out to the theater, heading out to the cine-plex or perhaps there’s a travelling circus or carnival.  steve is always talking about a “carnival atmosphere” and maybe for the first time I’m going to find out what the hell he’s referring to!  as human beings we usually wanted to share our ideas, but these people were highly unusual and we weren’t sure that we wanted them in our rag-tag organization.  is that so hard for you to understand, reader?  we took up different materials.  there was a lot lying around and we decided to select a few items at random.  now if it’s reading material that you’re talking about and the donations we might eventually make to the rummage sale - well, hold on there, partner- we might get this thing sorted out yet!   people talking, people working, people perpetuating the overall sense of our species.  a decent species, for the most part, a species that I think you should be proud to be part of, and no, that’s not a veiled reference to the ballpark or band shell.  we need and want our entertainment, need and want a sensation of something like “distance.”  if they can’t get it by being a part of some anonymous or unusual piracy, well then, there will be no more communication.  there will be no more veiled references to your facebook or e-mail or twitter account.  we wanted them to be stronger but they always ended up just being weaker.  we wanted to cure them of depression but they just ended up ending their lives prematurely.  talk about the clinics and conventions as much as you want, talk about the distance, the nothingness, the music and publishing industries.  they were all highly unusual and we didn’t want to get very close to them.  we issued warnings, and then we hired massive amounts of private security.  if they refused to back down on their own they would be forced to do so at gunpoint.  we never wanted it to get to this point but I suppose our initial planning was terrible.  these people were all highly unusual.  their weirdness disoriented us and caused us to commit serious errors.  yes, we will probably be paying for these errors for as long as we live!  and beyond!  I know that as a reader you would like us to split up into more distinct entities, and there’s a very good chance that we eventually will.  your desires will not only be acknowledged but fulfilled in every possible way!  these are some of the things we learned in college and we’re not about to forego such incredible wisdom!  I realize that it has taken us a long time to admit this.  those people were highly unusual and they made me very nervous, to be honest.  I didn’t like the looks of them.  I didn’t want to meet up with them.  I know it’s really important for different groups to at least attempt to share their opinions.  nonetheless, it ends in failure.  nonetheless, it results in confusion.  we should probably all commit mass suicide.  that would be a fairly simple solution.  I’m going to write to my congressperson right now and suggest that we all commit mass suicide as a team!  of course it won’t be accepted and of course it won’t be appreciated.  these people were highly unusual and there was no telling what they would be dreaming up next!  if it had something to do with urban areas, well then, hip hip hooray for urban areas!  if it had something to do with farms and farmers, well, my hat is off to them also!  some people burrow underground and decide to live out the rest of their lives in utter darkness and silence.  some people go public with their stories concerning serious ecological problems.  I would never do that- no way.  reader, just so you know- I’m different from those kinds of citizen journalists. I’m not necessarily saying that I’m a unique or even interesting individual.  people like me have engaged in barter because it helps to make sense of the chaos.  we like to spend quite a bit of our leisure time out in nature!  you may or may not find this surprising, but it still deserves to be stated. fuck the internet, right?  we understand what the culture is after and so we wander around the neighborhood aimlessly, in the spirit of old-fashioned town criers, shouting out and explicating some of the day’s relevant issues.  some historical figures I know have gone insane completely intentionally, meaning that they have done the precise things that they suspected would drive them over the edge.  these people were of course highly unusual and I think it makes sense that we were suspicious.  living out in the country, a countrified type of existence, you’d call it, gathering together with neighbors in what might be called the traditional wilderness manner- I’m pretty sure we’ll be condemned.  I’m pretty sure we’ll be penalized.  if I had more energy I might put together some kind of defense, but guess what?  I don’t have more energy, reader!  I only have a very very small amount of available energy.  you’ll probably suggest that I take medicine for it or at the very least drink energy shakes but those activities themselves require more energy than I currently have at my disposal!  shake your head sadly at my dilemma.  shake your head at my poor disposition.  as a reader this is well within your rights, and I am telling you personally to just go ahead and do what feels natural.  I know that the time we have together is short and may be ending any moment now, so that is why I am willing to reach out to you thru the 2 dimensions of the screen or the page and make a personal appeal, a direct intrusion into your daily existence.  I will tear a hole in your mentality, and if that sounds a little bit aggressive, please understand that, once again, it is only a figure of speech!  how many times do I have to assure you of that?  is that the way you want to live your life?  puttering around alone up in the attic?  were you banished?  if so, by whom?  are you still locked up in the temple of coconuts?  why did you make so many errors?  didn’t you understand that there was no actual self?  you wandered around the empty building, an empty name, empty body, murmured nonsensical phrases that reverberated thru the vast cavern of your synthetic vitamins and minerals.  I don’t see how or why you kept on surviving.  there was no discernible purpose!  these mob connections you’re always referring to- certain people are, in plain fact, highly unusual, reader!  we would like to share our ideas but our ideas aren’t the least bit realistic.  there’s probably a reason for that.  indeed, there is ample evidence in this very appeal.  you can tell by the way he is running, by the way he is murmuring- how many times did we suggest that he venture out into the physical public?  how many times did he respond that there was no such as thing as the space-time continuum?  only an insane person could come up with a rejoinder like that!  and yet, wasn't that him wandering past the window just now?  like a lot of folks, we enjoy spending time at the coffeehouse.  if you knew what we were after you would also spend more of your time at the coffeehouse also.  it makes a lot of sense.  the smartest people are into it!  they go there to dialogue, they go to increase the amplitude and range of their dialogue.  it wasn’t necessarily a woodcutter's existence that I was leading back then but neither is that an entirely misleading allusion- an occupation much like an any other.  human beings cast in the same mold as so many others. vitamins and minerals need to be written about.